The Best Christmas Anecdote Ever. EVER.

The Most Hilarious thing happened today. I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things to help with leftover management, and as I was walking in the doors, I heard this... weird music. Like an old electric organ.

Hmm. Electric organ piped through the sound system seemed like an odd choice for the inevitable Christmas music that will be playing for the next month. But, as it turned out, it wasn't exactly what I thought it was.

Organ? Yes. Sound system? NO! INSTEAD, IT WAS A DREAM COME TRUE: Old lady. Hammond B2. SERIOUSLY BAD Christmas music. No, no, no... I don't think you understand how bad it was. Shockingly bad. And every time she played, there was somehow a synth drum in the background. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." On an ORGAN. With a SYNTH DRUM accompaniment. I was waiting for Dom DeLuise to pop out from beyond the grave and tell everyone at Kroger that they were on Candid Camera.

People. This was EPIC.


Angus said...

Synth drums?!?!?! Wow. There are no words.

Jacob said...

Wow, that is impressive. It must be the store manager's mom.

I worked at a grocery store in high school (and a few Christmas Breaks into college) and every Christmas they always had the most obnoxious Christian music playing. It was a top 40 channel, I think, but it did not discriminate based on song title. Now given that there are not all that many non-religious "holiday" songs, I'll let you guess as to how many versions of "Santa Clause Is Coming to Town" and "Jingle Bell Rock" I was subjected to in a shift. It was evil.

Laura said...

Angus, I KNOW.

Ha! At the Whole Foods here, they don't play sacred music over the loud-speakers, so those two songs are in VERY frequent rotation. My friend Angela, who works there, was going batty by the time the first of the year came around.

Cabernet Leather said...

Was this like a supermarket or more of a small corner store?

Either way - Weird!

Laura said...

Oh yeah, it was a great big supermarket -- even a kinda fancy one. I wish I could have gotten a picture of it. Maybe she'll be back!