Shallow. I mean shallow, people.

At the risk of killing the lively discussion on prayer in the previous post, can I have a shallow, TV-obsessed moment, please? Or maybe a couple of moments. How long is a moment?

Shallow moment #1. Thank you, Jared and Megan. I'm hooked. Jack Bauer rocks more than Chuck Norris and MacGyver (M'geevay?) combined. Out of consideration for J and M's sleeping infant daughter, I did not run to my phone and call them at 10:01 last night, though I really REALLY wanted to. Hypothetical contents of that phone conversation:

Me: Ohmygosh, ohmygosh.
J or M: I know! I was like, what!?
Me: Jack Bauer, like, totally rocks.
J or M: I know! When he was crying?
Me: I know! Ohmygosh!
J or M: Hang on, I just realized Lucy's been crying for 20 minutes.

Shallow moment #2. I missed Hugh Laurie's acceptance speech last night for best actor in a TV Drama. Curses! His acceptance speech last year was totally priceless -- he cut his teeth on British improv comedies, after all.

Shallow moment #3. (In other Golden Globes news) In your FACE, The Office! Ugly Betty kicked butt! You can't mess with Salma Hayek's Latina superpowers and expect to survive.

And Tom Hanks should have taken home an award for a record number of uses of the word "balls" (and just general comic brilliance; who knew?) in a Cecil B. DeMille award presentation.

And Schwarzenegger been in this country thirty years? Forty? He's still almost unintelligible. It sounded like he was trying to say bar-bell instead of "Babel." How much more mileage is he going to try to get out of that same lame joke, "I'll be back"? Give me a break.

And why is it that certain male stars can get away with doing the Hollywood kiss-kiss with other men without having their sexuality called into question? Brad Pitt kiss-kissed probably 15 guys last night. Weird.

OK, I'm done. Back to more important topics soon, but I'm glad I got all that off my chest.