Who?

Taking an old joke maybe just a little too far in the direction of obscurity...

Prosperity Heresy

I've always thought that the passage about the rich young man who came to Jesus asking how he could have eternal life was the death-knell for prosperity "gospel" preaching, so I was interested to see a preacher on some TBN-like channel shouting at his congregation about it today. I watched for a few minutes to see how he would deal with the words in verses 23-25 about how hard it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

First, I thought he did a good job explaining the concept of the "Kingdom of Heaven" to his congregation: that it's God's way of doing things, and that it involves seed (God's incorruptible word), soil (human hearts), a farmer (Christ), and harvesters (believers). All right! I thought. Maybe this guy isn't so bad! That's a pretty good definition, and consistent with the testimony of the Gospels! I guess I can also say that he carefully (well, maybe not SO carefully) worked through the passage, which is always a good technique, however ill-applied in this circumstances. From there, however...

He grossly misinterpreted the rest of the passage, starting with verse 26. The disciples are amazed, he said, because "they ain't broke." Apparently, if they were broke, they would have been excited that it was tough for rich people to inherit the Kingdom! (This to a chorus of "Amens" from the audience.) The real reason they were astonished is that Jesus, in saying that it's hard for rich people to enter the kingdom, was ringing the changes: the Jewish people themselves were caught up hopelessly in the idea that wealth proved God's blessing and poverty proved God's curse. Look at the ministry of Jesus, the classic iconoclast, throughout the Gospels. He continually called into question the accepted ideas of the day about who possessed God's favor -- not necessarily the Pharisees (the religious elite, or as my pastor calls them, "the religious right"), or the wealthy, or the prominent, because they trusted in their wealth or position, but rather the childlike, the poor, and the humble, because they saw their desperate need for God.

Then, he claimed that verse 27 proved that "with man (it) is impossible" for rich people to be saved, "but with God, all things are possible," so everybody should have confidence that God wants them to be rich, since he likes to do things that are impossible for men. Whoa, whoa! What did Jesus just finish telling the rich man? "Go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then, come follow me." To assert that God wants us to be rich based on a verse just millimeters away from Jesus' radical command for a person obsessed with wealth to break free from wealth is not only foolish, it's misleading and irresponsible. Let John Gill explain it:

(God) can so influence and dispose (a man's) mind, as to distribute his riches cheerfully among the poor, and largely, and liberally supply their wants, and even part with all, when necessity requires it: he can change his heart, and cause the desires of his soul to be after true riches of grace and glory; and bring him to see his own spiritual poverty, his need of Christ, and salvation by him; and to deny himself, take up the cross, and follow him, by submitting to his most despised ordinances, and by suffering the loss of all things for his sake; and he can carry him through a thousand snares safe to his kingdom and glory

Then this guy, who as I'm watching the program seems increasingly nutty, goes on to verses 29 and 30, which is where he really gets riled up. Everyone who gives up houses and brother and all that will receive it back a hundredfold in this life, he says, and Praise The Lord!! With persecutions? I'm already being persecuted, and so are you, he says, so tell the Lord to bring on the persecutions, because people are talking about you behind your back anyway, and wouldn't you rather have a hundredfold of money and houses and lands (That you never gave up in the first place because you're so obsessed with them, I thought) in addition to the persecution you're already receiving? I'd rather have money than persecution any day! At this point I got so disgusted that I dove across the couch for the remote and changed the channel.

Oh, man... I hardly know where to start, this is so wrong. *Wading into the fray*

1. The passage says nothing, I repeat, nothing about money. Extrapolating from verses 29-30 that God wants you to have a hundredfold of money you never gave up shows that you may, in fact, be illiterate.

2. Jesus never promises his disciples, or us, worldly prosperity. Ever. Gill interprets this as a sweetening of our enjoyment of the temporal things that we do have, and a metaphor for the "house" of God -- the mother and father and siblings we inherit in Christ. For crying out loud, do a word study of "house" and "land" in the whole of Scripture. They do not refer to a building with four walls, or a tract of geographical territory, but rather to the offspring of Christ (the chosen people), and the Kingdom of God in almost every instance! Duh!

3. Having people gossip about you is absolutely, incontrovertibly not persecution. Read about the violent deaths of believers under Nero and other brutal Roman emperors, and then you'll have a taste of what persecution really means. Or study Darfur, Iran, or China. Or read the biography of Jim Eliot, or learn about the thousands currently in prison for their faith. But to say that you're being persecuted when people talk bad about you is to spit on the testimonies of the millions who have suffered and died for the sake of the name of Christ.

4. The verses in this passage drive the reader inexorably toward the final phrase: "and in the age to come, eternal life." Houses and lands and money will turn to dust, but the believer's true inheritance is eternal life in the age to come!

All this craziness is just a glimpse of the problems with the prosperity "gospel." Don't be suckered into believing this nonsense, nor into believing that it's a true likeness of the Gospel of Christ.

Random Thoughts, Again (Now With Links!)

1. Mike is really tall. And handy to have around when one needs to put a picture into one's profile. And jealous of my laptop.
2. I can sing right in Chris Thile's range when I have a cold.
3. This and the above are declarative sentences.
4. This one isn't, right?
5. No two snowflakes are alike, except in a book of snowflake stamps.
6. I have linked Mike on my blog, but he hasn't reciprocated. What the?
7. Nikki's old blog is still as funny as ever.
8. Afton is a cool name for a girl. Can you tell I'm listening to Nickel Creek?
9. Apparently, some folks from Tassie are confused when first visiting my blog when they discover that it's not all about prayer. Whoops. It USED to be...
10. I'm incredibly glad that the ratted elections are over so the TV can get back to normal and stop showing ads every commercial break with politicians trying to shout each other down. Seriously.
11. I've traveled "heaps," apparently: 30 states and Mexico, Hong Kong, Thailand, China, Germany, Belgium, England and Ireland.
12. Hold on, is there someone in Koln, Germany who has looked at my blog? Crazy! I've been there! Don't lurk, worldwide visitors! Comment!

"I'm blogging obsessively," she said.

Link here for Mark Driscoll's excellent advice, on the occasion of Ted Haggard's public sin, that every pastor (and every congregation member, frankly) should read!

Ode to ClustrMaps

Leslie's got folks in Japan and Johannesburg
I haven't got quite so many, I fear.
One who's in London and someone in Louisville --
Where is Phil's Oz hit? My brother's? Oh dear!

Someday quite soon I shall have dots aplenty, friends.
Someday I hope to show red orbs galore!
But till that day I'll have no notoriety.
Please, ClustrMap, I want hits! Give me more!

Not Sure How I Feel About...

The impassibility of God.

It's a classical doctrine that basically says that God the Father is unaffected by passion* (in the old-fashioned way, i.e., suffering), because passion indicates a lack of something -- the church fathers called this a privation. That's just dandy, since Scripture gives us no indication that God needs or lacks anything.

But is God emotionless? People who hold firmly to this doctrine say that when Scripture talks about God as having extremes of emotion -- regret, sorrow, vengefulness, etc. -- it does so metaphorically. But we can't really get around God's wrath at sinners, can we? Or His hatred of evil? So why would we want to get around His sorrow?

I may write more about this as I read farther (or is it further, Dave?) in the book I'm slowly working through -- too slowly, alas, since I have to finish it and 4 or 5 other books by the end of the semester. Argh.

Any thoughts or brilliant insights?




*obviously, when Christ was on earth, He suffered. Duh. But we're talking about the Father, here. Which makes me think of another question: if the Holy Spirit "intercedes for us with groans," does that mean that He suffers or feels sorrow with us? Scripture also speaks of the Holy Spirit as being "grieved" by our sins. Huh. More thought required on this topic, evidently.

Late-night Poetry Jam

We talked about you tonight,

Sat around a crowded table and sorted you out

Put together our few years of experience

And fewer of wisdom with our very small sense

And devised a sure course of action for you

Then wiped the slate and assured each other

That no true rule existed. That we mustn’t box you in

Or make your plans for you, that every circumstance

Is quite different, really, so there’s just

No way of knowing. And we said

Just what our mothers said, that we would

Just Know

When it happened. Wisely we nodded,

Concurring that no two people are just alike

And no two courtships should be, either.

We chafed under our wisdom, though, and we wanted

Nothing more than for you to be the man

At the next table with the very straight nose

And very blue eyes. But that wasn’t you.

Probably that was a good thing, since we spent

The next hour talking about you some more.

Haiku for today

Hangs a matchstick blind

with harsh lines that split the sky --

Pixilated view

(I don't like the word "hangs." Suggestions?)

HAPPY REFORMATION DAY!

The Reformation Polka

by Robert Gebel

[Sung to the tune of "Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious"]

When I was just ein junger Mann I studied canon law
While Erfurt was a challenge, it was just to please my Pa.
Then came the storm, the lightning struck, I called upon Saint Anne,
I shaved my head, I took my vows, an Augustinian!
Oh...

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

When Tetzel came near Wittenberg, St. Peter's profits soared,
I wrote a little notice for the All Saints' Bull'tin board:
"You cannot purchase merits, for we're justified by grace!
Here's 95 more reasons, Brother Tetzel, in your face!"
Oh...

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

They loved my tracts, adored my wit, all were exempleror;
The Pope, however, hauled me up before the Emperor.
"Are these your books? Do you recant?" King Charles did demand,
"I will not change my Diet, Sir, God help me here I stand!"
Oh...

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Duke Frederick took the Wise approach, responding to my words,
By knighting "George" as hostage in the Kingdom of the Birds.
Use Brother Martin's model if the languages you seek,
Stay locked inside a castle with your Hebrew and your Greek!
Oh...

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

Let's raise our steins and Concord Books while gathered in this place,
And spread the word that 'catholic' is spelled with lower case;
The Word remains unfettered when the Spirit gets his chance,
So come on, Katy, drop your lute, and join us in our dance!
Oh...

Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation
Speak your mind against them and face excommunication!
Nail your theses to the door, let's start a Reformation!
Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation!

(Thanks to Nigel at EtIncarnatusEst for this COMPLETELY HILARIOUS MOMENT in my day. Good times... *wipes tears*)

Don't go see Marie Antoinette...

...if you're looking for a documentary-style history of pre-revolutionary France.

...if you hate movies that don't take historical characters "seriously" enough.

...if you are offended by the portrayal of adultery when it really did happen.

...if you need lots of special effects to keep you interested.

...if you are sickened by the sight of a sea of flower-print gowns.


However, DO go see Marie Antoinette...

...if you like Kirsten Dunst.

...if you are interested in character development more than a fast-moving plot.

...if you like cool, indie music.

...if watching harpies make digs at people cracks you up.

...if you want a different perspective on the key players at the end of the French monarchy.

...if you like Sofia Coppola.

...if you think slightly bawdy old grandfather-types are hilarious.

...and finally, if you're not boring.